Culture killing mistakes and a blow-your-mind moment 🤯

Have you ever experienced a moment so surreal that it stops you in your tracks? Let me share a story from one of our recent BRAVE Implementation Labs that left me—and everyone there—absolutely speechless. 🫠😶

We were deep in a mastermind session, brainstorming ways to help a leader struggling with a work direction issue. Someone chimed in with a powerful suggestion. He said, years ago, he was sent a video that completely changed his life. It was an exercise in writing his own eulogy and it gave him the clarity to prioritize his values and ultimately, step into his greatness.

The group agreed that the exercise would be beneficial for her, but you’ll never guess what happened next... I casually mentioned that my second TEDx Talk (which was about the precursor to the structure of BRAVE) was actually a step-by-step guide to doing exactly what he recommended, writing your own eulogy. I figured it would be helpful for her, so I popped the link into the chat. [ It’s here, if you’re curious. ]

Moments later, Oliver interjected in disbelief: “OMG, I clicked the link you shared, THIS WAS THE VIDEO my friend sent me. IT WAS YOU! Your talk was what I watched seven years ago!” 🤯😭🫠🫣🥹🙃🤩 WHAT?!

The zoom room fell into awe and my eyes welled up with tears. In that full-circle moment, we realized the profound impact that a single exercise, shared in the right environment, can have on someone’s life. We also got to see the power of BRAVE in action. It wasn’t about the exercise — although it is incredibly powerful — it was about the environment where it was shared. More on that below.

BRAVE Tip: Creating Safe Spaces for Growth… AND RESULTS

What allowed that moment to happen, and what I teach leaders daily, is this: growth, innovation and excellence occur in spaces that feel safe.

Over the years, whether I was working one-on-one with a leader, a small team or facilitating a room of 500+ people (virtually or in person) — it was never about the depth of the question I asked, even ones as big as “what would your eulogy say?” It was about the space I held for their answer. It was about creating an environment where people feel safe enough to speak their deepest truths, fail, ask for support, say something crazy… GROW.

This is important because your company will only grow at the rate that leaders are growing. In the same way that your family will only function better when the primary caregivers feel safe and commit to growing. [ Sidenote: In either case, if you just said any version of “yeah, boy do they need to grow” about someone else. I can almost assure you that you do, too. It’s nothing personal. I know that you're already doing your best, but I also know from experience that when driven, intentional leaders like you take control and do your growth work, others follow suit. Not the other way around. You are always the role model for what you want others to do. ]

Creating that environment for growth used to be a black box. It was hit or miss. And often seemed like luck. To be clear, IT’S NOT LUCK. It’s a skill. There’s science behind it. It’s what The BRAVE Framework® is designed to do. To give you a roadmap that hones the skill of building a high performance culture authentically and sustainably, from the inside out.

In case you were wondering, here are some mistakes I see leaders (unintentionally) make all the time that cannibalize their culture:

1. They talk too much - 99% of surveys I see from companies we work with say that leaders talk most in meetings. I get it. You think you need to come with answers. But if your people aren’t stepping up and knocking your socks off, I’d be willing to bet it’s because there isn’t enough time in meetings for their voice. What if the leader didn't always come with the plan, I wonder how your people would step up.

2. They prioritize being right - two words, status management. We think that to be a leader means knowing the “right” answer (or at least acting like we do). Being the fixer is a good thing, right? Not always. Being the one who is “always right” doesn’t build other leaders. It just preserves your status. What if you didn’t feel like you needed to prove yourself and could prioritize building trust instead? What if the measure of a leader was how they build others?

3. They call on people or go around the table - meaning, they perpetuate already bad listening habits. Be honest, last time you went around the table sharing answers, do you remember what the three people before you said? Course you don’t. You weren’t listening, you were planning your own reply. The best way to build an environment of high performance that invites engagement, innovation and inclusion is to role model phenomenal listening skills.

​All of these things are wildly common. None of them create the environment that invites high performance. None of them promote the kind of safety that wins. What TO DO is a lot of what I talk about here, in newsletters, blogs, in workshops I run... really, anywhere I am. Yes, I'm obsessed.
​

Building teams that win

When leaders create environments where their team feels safe to express what’s true — even if that’s uncertainty, disagreement or push back — performance skyrockets. Teams become unshakeable. They communicate better, innovate and execute faster, and take ownership of their greatness. Same thing happens in families, when humans are safe to be all of themselves, when — win or lose — they have support from the people around them, they thrive.

I’m planning to host a live, virtual workshop on Dec 5th (sign up here) that teaches my structures and frameworks for creating this kind of space on your team. And yes, it even works with fully remote teams. Would this be something you’re interested in? Hit reply and say “I’m IN” if you want to join for free.

I hope this sparked something in you. If so, will you tell me about it!? Or forward this along to someone that could use the spark ⚡️!

Sign up to receive your own leadership love notes from me here.

Next week I’ll share some more about how to structure your team culture for safety aka an environment that invites everyone’s full potential. Hint: if you’ve known me a while, it has a lot to do with our origin story 😉