Culture Wins
You don’t rise to the levels of your goals, you fall to the level of your culture...
Last week, we explored a personal challenge where brave conversations changed everything for the better. We talked about how hard conversations—when handled with care and intention—become the catalyst for positive impact and forward momentum. But when they feel unsafe, they do the opposite: they slow you down and hold you back.
Here’s the truth: it’s not the conversation itself that determines success or failure. It's not what we say or how we say it. It’s the way we listen to each other that makes the biggest impact...
The Key to Building a Winning Team
Marcus Freeman, Notre Dame’s head football coach, said: “You find out a lot about your team at its lowest moments… It’s in those toughest times that you make the major gains.”
Think about that for a moment. The hardest times don’t just reveal who your team is; they shape who you become. When failure or challenges strike, it’s easy to spiral into blame, frustration, hesitation or silence. Maybe this has happened to you... But what if you saw those moments as opportunities instead? A chance to shift the narrative, to lean in instead of shutting down?
BRAVE for the Win
One of the leaders in our program started BRAVE at a breaking point. On paper, he had it all—career, relationship, stability, success. But inside? His relationships were dramatic and splintered. He felt unfulfilled. His sense of purpose wavered. He had big dreams, but wasn't taking steps toward them...
Fast forward to now: His relationships are thriving. His family gatherings went from tense and draining to the most connected they’ve ever been. His purpose is clear, he is consistently taking action and he’s making a huge impact in the world. Most importantly, he experiences more confidence and positive emotion than ever.
What happened in the middle?
Challenges.
He lost his job. He faced multiple massive health crises. It would’ve been easy to shut down. Instead, he doubled down on rising to the challenge. He doubled down on getting the support he needed. He doubled down on BRAVE—at the exact moment it made the least ‘sense’ financially or logistically. He came to every session, even through dialysis. He used the framework everywhere he could. He took every challenge as an opportunity to learn about himself…
And something almost magical happened. He created an environment around himself where he felt connected, appreciated, confident, supported, fulfilled—not frustrated, stuck or exhausted. His relationships began reflect an even exchange of energy, MASSIVELY different from when we met him.
He credits using The BRAVE Framework® consistently for the turn around. But let me be clear about what changed: he did. The first turnaround was his inner reality, his mindset. He decided. He committed. He followed through. And then his outer reality started to follow suit…
Take your Power Back
This is the hidden truth behind how BRAVE works: You're control. YOU decide. YOU commit. And then all those frustrating things on the outside shift as well. But that first transformation, it's internal. And it won’t “work” unless you do the work.
The same is true for teams. It’s a mindset shift: challenges aren’t roadblocks—they’re fuel. The tougher the moment, the greater the potential for growth.
The teams that make the biggest gains are the ones that a) know how to navigate these moments together and b) have leaders who embody this and can create the kind of environment where they feel safe doing the hard things, failing, being vulnerable... Then, they don’t just get through the hard times; they grow through them.
So, what determines whether your team rises or falters? Culture. And having leaders who know how to build it and use the challenges you face to fuel it.
Culture Wins
“Culture wins.” I felt myself smile as I heard Riley Leonard, Notre Dame QB say these words after winning the Orange Bowl and clinching the national championship. (Photo below of us in the stands with little Montana!)
Culture — is what builds winning teams. It’s not the playbook, the strategy, or even the talent—it’s the environment you create. The way your team listens to each other, supports each other, and stays connected when the stakes are high. That’s what defines a winning culture. Why? Because your talent can’t perform at their best (even with a great strategy) without the right culture surrounding and supporting them. It’s science.
It’s the same in any high-performing organization or team. The culture that accelerates through challenges is built moment by moment, conversation by conversation. When they address the hard stuff, B.R.A.V.E.-ly.
The culture in our teams and our families is built by how we show up, how we listen, and how we create safety for hard conversations that lead to progress.
Culture hack: Reframe Failure as a Win
Science backs this up. On the drive home from the game, we put on a podcast — one of my favs — Huberman Lab. In it, they explored how redefining failure, challenges and making errors changes everything neuro-chemically. It accelerates our capacity to learn, to grow. When you can view failure as a learning experience—a sign you’re moving closer to your goal—it becomes a win in itself, your environment becomes safer and you build forward momentum.
The same goes for conflict. Brave conversations feel like risks in the moment, but they’re the ultimate investment in your team’s culture. They create the foundation for trust, growth, and yes, winning. Hard conversations had in a safe (B.R.A.V.E.) environment push you, your team and your results forward. Hard conversations avoided or had in an unsafe environment, inevitably hold you, your team and your results back.
Is Your Culture Built to Win?
Ask yourself:
• When challenges hit, does your team move faster or falter?
• After a period of challenges, change or significant growth, how do your people feel and why do they feel that way? (This is not a rhetorical question where I want your assumption - have you explicitly asked them?)
• Are your hardest conversations sparking momentum, stalling progress or not even happening and living as the elephant in the room?
• Do you feel like you can meaningfully address the root of issues—or are you stuck fixing symptoms? Do you feel confident that you actually know the difference?
If you’re not sure, that’s where Brave comes in…
BRAVE isn’t about avoiding tough moments. It also isn’t about the words you say or even how you say them. It isn’t about the bold, directness or aversion and hesitation so often highlighted by popular leadership assessments. Those are symptoms. It’s about building the environment that invites healthy dialogue. It’s about transforming challenges into opportunities that make your team stronger, faster, and more connected. Because, like Coach Freeman said, in the hardest moments, you don’t just find out what your team is made of—you shape what your team can become.
Build YOUR Winning Culture
BRAVE Programs help you:
• Create an environment where hard conversations drive growth.
• Learn the art of listening to accelerate connection and trust.
• Reframe challenges as the foundation for high performance.
Because like Riley said, culture wins. And as a leader, it’s built by YOUR every day actions, namely the way you listen to others. Meaning: you can make a huge difference today. All you need to do is decide and commit, like Oliver did above, and change your inner experience with a framework like BRAVE. And then, before you know it, you’ll be celebrating a win in your outer world… like the fighting Irish are this week :)
Remember, the toughest moments reveal your team’s potential. Are you ready to turn them into your biggest gains?
Said another way, your toughest moments reveal the greatest potential in your relationships. Are you finally ready to do something about it?
When you decide you’re ready to build a culture that wins, let’s have that conversation. You know where to find me. (Hit reply and say I’m ready).
Bravely,
Elisabeth
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